Jeff Ascough and Veronica Ozog
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Our Internship Year at Making Daughters Safe Again
I’m Jeff Ascough and I’m Veronica Ozog. We did our internship with Making Daughters Safe Again, also known as MDSA. MDSA is a non-profit organization headed by Dr. Christine Hatchard of the Psychology Department here at Monmouth.
The organization is the only organization in the world that works directly with adult women who were sexually abused by their mothers in childhood. It was started in 1999 when Dr. Hatchard was a student here at Monmouth. She started MDSA after reading research that revealed that 0% of mother-daughter sexual abuse survivors had ever talked to another survivor of this form of abuse and that only 3% of survivors who were in therapy felt comfortable enough to disclose the abuse to their therapists. When the average person and even professionals thinks about child sexual abuse, they may quickly relate the abuse to male perpetrators; however, it is much more common than people think for the perpetrator to be a mother. Of all substantiated cases of sexual abuse in the United States, mothers account for about 8% of the perpetrators.
We both originally heard about MDSA from Dr Hatchard. It seemed like a really great organization that would give us the opportunity to gain some clinical experience. It also seemed like an opportunity to earn class credits while participating in something that could be truly fulfilling because we would be able to help others. After meeting with Dr Hatchard over the summer for interviews, we began working with MDSA in the Fall Semester.
Because the topic is something that is not commonly covered in any curriculum, we spent the first month or so doing a lot of reading and research to understand the topic. Without doing this research, it may have been difficult for us to grasp certain aspects of mother daughter sexual abuse that we really needed to understand before getting first hand experience.
We also helped to locate new research articles and books and update presentations and educational materials for the organization. Because Mother daughter sexual abuse is a topic without much recognition, it was an important part of our job to try to help spread awareness about it. In October, we helped Dr. Hatchard prepare for a radio interview with a host in Las Vegas, and I went to Towson University to present Dr. Hatchard’s documentary, Who Will Love Me? as well as a lecture about Making Daughters Safe Again and the reality of mother daughter sexual abuse. This was a really great experience for me because I was able to meet Dr. Bethany Brand, one of the leading trauma researchers in the world and co-present with Dr. Hatchard to an audience of graduate students. It was really great to feel like I had a big impact in sharing knowledge about mother daughter sexual abuse to future therapists.
Also in the fall, Dr. Hatchard’s clinical work was filmed for a documentary that will air on national television in Canada this fall. Veronica and I both assisted Dr Hatchard, the filming crew and the survivors in attendance. This was our first time knowingly being face to face with a group of mother daughter sexual abuse survivors. Although we mainly ran errands and provided feedback when asked, it was great to meet some members of MDSA in person.
Another part of our job with MDSA was helping to moderate the private online forum. The online forum is a place where members of MDSA can connect with each other and provide support and validation to one another. The forum contains different chat rooms and forums focusing on different aspects of the survivor experience, such as addressing physical health and family problems. The online forum as a whole was a great place for us as interns, to learn more about mother daughter sexual abuse and the associated challenges, as well as the benefit of group support, especially for individuals who feel isolated by their traumatic experiences. Because members come from countries around the world, we could also understand the cultural similarities and differences of this topic. We also assist by answering emails from survivors and professionals from around the world who contact the organization and we help to process membership applications.
The first real in depth experience that we had with survivors and members of MDSA was at a workshop. During the one-day workshop, Dr Hatchard led multiple sessions in which the members discussed different topics including identity, self-injury, eating disorders and body memories. This was really an eye-opening experience because of the raw emotion and intense discussion. Many survivors do not share their secret abuse with other people, so when these members come together, they often allow themselves to express their emotions more freely. We learned a lot about survivors at this workshop and it prepared us for the most important event of the year for MDSA, the 5th Annual Retreat.
The retreat took place last weekend at a bed and breakfast in Ocean Grove, NJ. MDSA members attended from all over the country. This was an event that lasted the entire weekend and was a powerful experience for both of us. It began on Friday with a group session in which everybody introduced themselves and began the discussion by completing the sentence, “you know you’re a mother-daughter sexual abuse survivor when…”. This elicited many similar responses which helped the members to see that their feelings and thoughts were not unusual. One member cried just because she could finally lay her eyes on another survivor of mother-daughter sexual abuse. The in-person MDSA events are often the first time that survivors get to meet others like them.
Throughout the day Saturday, there were many different sessions led by Dr. Hatchard and Dr. Goodwin that members could attend, such as relational aggression and how abusive families share characteristics with cults. In the morning, some members did yoga for emotional healing while others participated in a session focused on meeting physical, emotional and spiritual needs. This session was a great experience for me because not only did I learn a lot about the women in the session, the session was co-moderated by a long time MDSA member. It was truly amazing to see the strength that each of these women had and even more amazing to see one of the women actually leading the discussion.
Later in the day, the group participated in the yearly art activity. This year the members made “Warrior Women” Masks. These masks were completed in order to allow the members to have a symbol of the courage and strength that they demonstrate every day. Many of the members took great pride in developing their masks and sharing what their masks represented.
Later that night, all of the members and staff took part in the final session of the day, the Buddha Board Ceremony. A Buddha board, as you see pictured, is a board that an individual may write on using a wet paintbrush. After about a few minutes, the word written on the board begins to disappear which is representative of release. For this ceremony, the word ‘Shame’ was written onto the board and its disappearance represented the release of shame that survivors often feel. As this word disappeared, members read index cards aloud that contained a positive characteristic such as love, awareness, joy and compassion, that they could let in as they released their shame. Throughout this powerful session, many members allowed themselves to openly express their emotions and were able to release some shame.
The final session on Sunday morning was a wrap up of the entire weekend. Throughout the weekend, members and staff were encouraged to write personal notes to each other, which were read at this session. We both received very nice letters that thanked us for being part of the weekend. During this session, we also got to verbalize how we felt towards the woman and the experience we had at the retreat. This was really an emotional session for everyone, us included, with many smiles and tears. All in all, the retreat was a very special weekend for us and impacted us both professionally and personally.
Professionally speaking, being an intern for MDSA has definitely confirmed my career path. It helped me realize that being a psychologist and helping others is something that I truly have a passion for and it has motivated and encouraged me to fulfill my dreams of becoming a psychologist. This internship also allows my resume to stand out for graduate schools and future employers. It was a really great opportunity for us and we are both very happy we were able to experience it.
Personally speaking, this internship with MDSA has literally changed the way I think about life. It’s very cliché to say something like that but I can honestly say that I have been changed by the internship, especially the workshop and the retreat. Being part of an organization whose sole purpose is to help others is something that many people do not get the opportunity to do. Knowing that the research you are doing and the time you spend working are going to help others is an irreplaceable feeling. Many members tell us that MDSA saved their lives. This internship taught me that my complaints are rather minute compared to what some people have to experience and this has really opened both of our eyes to the reality of Mother Daughter Sexual Abuse.
I’m Jeff Ascough and I’m Veronica Ozog. We did our internship with Making Daughters Safe Again, also known as MDSA. MDSA is a non-profit organization headed by Dr. Christine Hatchard of the Psychology Department here at Monmouth.
The organization is the only organization in the world that works directly with adult women who were sexually abused by their mothers in childhood. It was started in 1999 when Dr. Hatchard was a student here at Monmouth. She started MDSA after reading research that revealed that 0% of mother-daughter sexual abuse survivors had ever talked to another survivor of this form of abuse and that only 3% of survivors who were in therapy felt comfortable enough to disclose the abuse to their therapists. When the average person and even professionals thinks about child sexual abuse, they may quickly relate the abuse to male perpetrators; however, it is much more common than people think for the perpetrator to be a mother. Of all substantiated cases of sexual abuse in the United States, mothers account for about 8% of the perpetrators.
We both originally heard about MDSA from Dr Hatchard. It seemed like a really great organization that would give us the opportunity to gain some clinical experience. It also seemed like an opportunity to earn class credits while participating in something that could be truly fulfilling because we would be able to help others. After meeting with Dr Hatchard over the summer for interviews, we began working with MDSA in the Fall Semester.
Because the topic is something that is not commonly covered in any curriculum, we spent the first month or so doing a lot of reading and research to understand the topic. Without doing this research, it may have been difficult for us to grasp certain aspects of mother daughter sexual abuse that we really needed to understand before getting first hand experience.
We also helped to locate new research articles and books and update presentations and educational materials for the organization. Because Mother daughter sexual abuse is a topic without much recognition, it was an important part of our job to try to help spread awareness about it. In October, we helped Dr. Hatchard prepare for a radio interview with a host in Las Vegas, and I went to Towson University to present Dr. Hatchard’s documentary, Who Will Love Me? as well as a lecture about Making Daughters Safe Again and the reality of mother daughter sexual abuse. This was a really great experience for me because I was able to meet Dr. Bethany Brand, one of the leading trauma researchers in the world and co-present with Dr. Hatchard to an audience of graduate students. It was really great to feel like I had a big impact in sharing knowledge about mother daughter sexual abuse to future therapists.
Also in the fall, Dr. Hatchard’s clinical work was filmed for a documentary that will air on national television in Canada this fall. Veronica and I both assisted Dr Hatchard, the filming crew and the survivors in attendance. This was our first time knowingly being face to face with a group of mother daughter sexual abuse survivors. Although we mainly ran errands and provided feedback when asked, it was great to meet some members of MDSA in person.
Another part of our job with MDSA was helping to moderate the private online forum. The online forum is a place where members of MDSA can connect with each other and provide support and validation to one another. The forum contains different chat rooms and forums focusing on different aspects of the survivor experience, such as addressing physical health and family problems. The online forum as a whole was a great place for us as interns, to learn more about mother daughter sexual abuse and the associated challenges, as well as the benefit of group support, especially for individuals who feel isolated by their traumatic experiences. Because members come from countries around the world, we could also understand the cultural similarities and differences of this topic. We also assist by answering emails from survivors and professionals from around the world who contact the organization and we help to process membership applications.
The first real in depth experience that we had with survivors and members of MDSA was at a workshop. During the one-day workshop, Dr Hatchard led multiple sessions in which the members discussed different topics including identity, self-injury, eating disorders and body memories. This was really an eye-opening experience because of the raw emotion and intense discussion. Many survivors do not share their secret abuse with other people, so when these members come together, they often allow themselves to express their emotions more freely. We learned a lot about survivors at this workshop and it prepared us for the most important event of the year for MDSA, the 5th Annual Retreat.
The retreat took place last weekend at a bed and breakfast in Ocean Grove, NJ. MDSA members attended from all over the country. This was an event that lasted the entire weekend and was a powerful experience for both of us. It began on Friday with a group session in which everybody introduced themselves and began the discussion by completing the sentence, “you know you’re a mother-daughter sexual abuse survivor when…”. This elicited many similar responses which helped the members to see that their feelings and thoughts were not unusual. One member cried just because she could finally lay her eyes on another survivor of mother-daughter sexual abuse. The in-person MDSA events are often the first time that survivors get to meet others like them.
Throughout the day Saturday, there were many different sessions led by Dr. Hatchard and Dr. Goodwin that members could attend, such as relational aggression and how abusive families share characteristics with cults. In the morning, some members did yoga for emotional healing while others participated in a session focused on meeting physical, emotional and spiritual needs. This session was a great experience for me because not only did I learn a lot about the women in the session, the session was co-moderated by a long time MDSA member. It was truly amazing to see the strength that each of these women had and even more amazing to see one of the women actually leading the discussion.
Later in the day, the group participated in the yearly art activity. This year the members made “Warrior Women” Masks. These masks were completed in order to allow the members to have a symbol of the courage and strength that they demonstrate every day. Many of the members took great pride in developing their masks and sharing what their masks represented.
Later that night, all of the members and staff took part in the final session of the day, the Buddha Board Ceremony. A Buddha board, as you see pictured, is a board that an individual may write on using a wet paintbrush. After about a few minutes, the word written on the board begins to disappear which is representative of release. For this ceremony, the word ‘Shame’ was written onto the board and its disappearance represented the release of shame that survivors often feel. As this word disappeared, members read index cards aloud that contained a positive characteristic such as love, awareness, joy and compassion, that they could let in as they released their shame. Throughout this powerful session, many members allowed themselves to openly express their emotions and were able to release some shame.
The final session on Sunday morning was a wrap up of the entire weekend. Throughout the weekend, members and staff were encouraged to write personal notes to each other, which were read at this session. We both received very nice letters that thanked us for being part of the weekend. During this session, we also got to verbalize how we felt towards the woman and the experience we had at the retreat. This was really an emotional session for everyone, us included, with many smiles and tears. All in all, the retreat was a very special weekend for us and impacted us both professionally and personally.
Professionally speaking, being an intern for MDSA has definitely confirmed my career path. It helped me realize that being a psychologist and helping others is something that I truly have a passion for and it has motivated and encouraged me to fulfill my dreams of becoming a psychologist. This internship also allows my resume to stand out for graduate schools and future employers. It was a really great opportunity for us and we are both very happy we were able to experience it.
Personally speaking, this internship with MDSA has literally changed the way I think about life. It’s very cliché to say something like that but I can honestly say that I have been changed by the internship, especially the workshop and the retreat. Being part of an organization whose sole purpose is to help others is something that many people do not get the opportunity to do. Knowing that the research you are doing and the time you spend working are going to help others is an irreplaceable feeling. Many members tell us that MDSA saved their lives. This internship taught me that my complaints are rather minute compared to what some people have to experience and this has really opened both of our eyes to the reality of Mother Daughter Sexual Abuse.